Never Confuse Music And Football

Recently, I noticed that I haven't updated this blog anywhere near as much as I should, especially considering my aspirations to be a journalist. So what could be a better way to return than with a post combining my two favourite things, music and football?

Those of you that have read my previous posts or know me personally will be aware that I like a moan about something now and then. Unfortunately for those of you who were expecting a calculated, methodologically and critically considered discussion of an intelligent topic, you might be a little wide of the mark. Don't let that put you off though.

As previously mentioned, I'm here to discuss music and football and particularly the former. One thing that really annoys me is when people mistake music for football. Hear me out.

You may be wondering what kind of dim-witted simpleton could possibly confuse the two, and come to think of it, so am I. What I'm referring to is when people treat music as if it's a competition, I can't say it's a major issue in my life but when it occurs, it's fairly annoying. I'm not one to care much about other people's opinions, but it's the principle of their beliefs that I'm bothered about.

Let me explain. The people I'm referring to are those that dislike the Rolling Stones because of the Beatles, or dislike Oasis because of Blur. I have no problem with people disliking these bands if they chose to (despite me liking all four) but their reasons seem invalid. The people I have an issue with are those that dislike a band because of the 'rivalry' that exists between the relevant band and a band they're fond of.

This kind of behaviour is perfectly applicable to football, it's expected that a Man United fan will dislike Man City; or a Liverpool fan will dislike Everton. This is because football is a competitive sport where teams are pitted against eachother. Music is not the same.

Music is there to be enjoyed, it's not to create rivalry or hatred.

I don't understand how one person can love Blur but hate Oasis (or vice-versa) simply because of this nonsense view that a likeness of both can't co-exist. This brings me back to the belief that you can't pick and choose what you like, especially music-wise. You hear what you hear and like or dislike it, you can't make a conscious decision to dislike something, it's something natural that you can't control. Blur and Oasis made similar music in the same genre, if you like one then it's practically impossible to hate the other.

Some may say that the personality of the band members is another factor. I simply reject this point. As a football fan, I dislike Luis Suarez. I think he's a cheating, diving little scumbag, but I can appreciate his world class talent. You can relate this to someone like Liam Gallagher, who isn't everybody's cup of tea to say the least. Some may debate his talents, but personally I think he's a great. Considering many feel he's among the greatest front men of all time I'm not alone either.

You can't deny that he played a major role in making Oasis who they were. Okay, he may not have had the creative influence Noel had but that wasn't his role. That's like saying Bobby Moore wasn't a significant part of the England 1966 World Cup winning team because he wasn't a creative player like Bobby Charlton. The fact that the High Flying Birds aren't as successful as Oasis lends itself to the opinion that Liam made a huge difference. How Beady Eye compare to NGHFB though is a totally different argument.

My point is, personalities shouldn't matter much in music. I like Oasis and if I did had heard them before I knew who Liam was and what he was like, I wouldn't suddenly decide to hate it just because I heard some explicit anecdotes. I think Oasis needed Liam's controversy and sharp tongue to compliment Noel's comparatively more calculated approach.

Back to my original point, I remember when I played an Arctic Monkeys track in the company of a mate (who's a Manc) and he responded with "What's this shite from Sheffield doing on?" Clearly, they weren't over the war of the roses and still held a grudge over Yorkshire. This predetermined that he couldn't like Arctic Monkeys before he'd even heard their stuff, simply because of where they were from. I'm fully aware his comments had a light-hearted tone underlining them, but the principle still puzzled me.

Maybe my point about competition not being the point of music is why X-Factor is becoming an increasing failure. Acts aren't developed to be entertaining, but the pressure of competition limits them to what their audience want to hear. This ignores to primary objective of music: to express yourself, but instead focuses on a desire to win. Acts are now brought up in the fashion 'to not play well but scrape a 1-0 away win at Stoke/Sunderland/Fulham' rather than forget what the average hormonal X-Factor voter thinks and do what they please.

In conclusion, music is an art, not a sport. And it should be treated accordingly.

Rant over.

Why Glastonbury Should Be A Total Waste of Time

Glastonbury Festival marks the start of festival season, so grab your tents and wellies and get ready for a spot of camping.

Music festivals are undoubtedly great fun and provide on-a-budget teens with an alternative to jetting off to Ibiza and driving themselves into more debt. What's not to love?

Yet try explaining to an alien who's never heard of Glastonbury before the attractions of a music festival, and you'd sound like an idiot.

First of all: camping.

Camping, whichever way you look at it, isn't fun. If it was, we'd all live in tents and Millets would be the richest company on earth. It isn't, so it's not.

On holiday, you can enjoy the luxuries of a hotel, apartment or villa and spend time sunbathing by the pool, it's easy to teach an alien the attractions of this; yet crapping in a bucket and walking knee deep in mud with a tent to sleep in that's as comfortable as being stabbed; that sounds less luxurious to me.

And it doesn't end there, at each music festival, people come away with not only muddy wellies and a wet tent, but with the shame that in a drunken jamming session with an acoustic guitar (or even worse, a ukulele) you have singlehandedly ruined a classic. Wonderwall by Oasis is a regular victim.

People also say, 'It'll be great to meet new people.' Yet the people you meet are usually drug addicts that pray to a God called Kurt Cobain and the prophet Pete Doherty. Most of them are idiots frankly, that waste their money on crack and throw their piss filled bags into the crowd, where they invariably land on your head.

If, by any chance you meet people that you don't class as idiots, then leave immediately. You are the idiot.

The worst by far though, is the hippies.

The usually tranquil settings of the Cotwolds and Somerset are invaded by the thieving little gypos every year, and residents spend the rest of the year clearing up after the mess the greasy inbreds make; call me stereotypical but have you ever met a classy gypo? No, you haven't, because they don't exist.

"I don't want to play Glastonbury on the Sunday night in the pouring rain, which is what The Who did last year. I was watching it on the telly, and my kids were there. I'm on the phone saying 'it's awful'. The said it was really fun, but it didn't look fun to me." Mick Jagger

I reiterate my previous point of how unappealing music festivals should be, yet they're not all bad obviously hence why people spend so much money going back year after year.

The thrill of seeing your favourite band and yelling at the top of your voice is obviously an attractive one, even if you look like an idiot. This doesn't matter though because, as previously stated, you're surrounded by idiots, so nobody really cares.

Seeing the likes of Oasis, Led Zeppelin or Blur must leave the crowd speechless and in awe, like a religious experience, only real obviously.

Despite the downsides, music festivals are here to stay it would seem.

So get yourself down to Millets, purchase a ukulele and join in with the spirit, even buy a Volkswagen camper and grow dreadlocks if you really want. Just don't become a gypo, there's enough already.

Looking forward to it?

Top 90's Tunes

Okay, I may have been born in 1995, making my arrival too late to be considered a 90's kid as I hardly remember the 90's, never mind claim I grew up then, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate the top music that came out of the era that was the 90's.

In an era where Playstation was born, Tamagotchi's ruled supreme and 'Girl Power' was the motto, music had alot to live up to following the 80's, but with bands like Nirvana, U2, Oasis and Take That, plus solo artists like Britney, Kylie and Robbie, music in the 90's didn't fail to meet the public's high standards, and, unlike today, the charts were filled with top stuff. So after asking for the opinion of friends, and after scanning we7 and Wikipedia from top to bottom, here's my favourites...

15. Faithless- Insomnia, this is one of those classics, with few lyrics and a laid back style to the song, Insomnia was just one of dance god's Faithless' hits and was first released in 1995, with the original being nearly 11 minutes in length. The radio edit was cut down to just 3:34 thankfully, as never how good a song is, it is vulnerable to being over played and after just one song of 11 minutes it'd get boring, a top tune though that kicks off my top 15.

14. The Verve- Bitter Sweet Symphony, when it hit the charts in 1997, Bitter Sweet Symphony was seen as as Wigan based 'The Verve's' biggest hit and peaked at #2 and it's album 'Urban Hymns' The violin rift makes this song unique and notable, meaning this song will be a timeless classic, well worthy of it's placing at 14.

13. Cornershop- Brimful of Asha, a catchy tune released in 1997 and remixed by 'Fatboy Slim', the later's chart position was significantly higher than the original, reaching #1 in 1998, but I still prefer the original, basically for it's originality (surprisingly) and acoustic feel. The song was written in tribute to Indian singer Asha Bhosle, any coincidence that it was sang by a group called 'Cornershop?'

12. Foo Fighters- Everlong, in all Foo Fighter's long career, I don't think they've eclipsed 'Everlong' a rock masterclass from the dawn of summer 1997, of which I have to say I've mastered on Guitar Hero, and I have to admit it's the first time I've encountered the song, shameful I know. After being brought up in pop music, as reflected by my higher listed songs, I'd never came across 'Everlong' until 'Guitar Hero World Tour', and ever since, it's been a favourite of the time.

11. Westlife- Flying Without Wing, unlike the above songs, I actually remember listening to this song in the 90's, rather than just appreciating it in the next decade. With my sister being obsessed with Westlife at the time, it would have been a crime not to include the Irish pop geniuses, and after finding out 'Uptown Girl' was released in 2001, this was my automatic replacement. This song has a unique feel to it, a classic. The amount of times you've heard the expression 'Flying without wings' in real life is untrue and a tribute to Westlife, who's newer material I have to say just isn't the same. 

10. The Goo Goo Dolls- Iris, a typical example of a song that you can't put a name to, but after recommendation from a friend (who remains unnamed) this was a certain for the top 10, why isn't music like this anymore?

9. Nirvana- Smells Like Teen Spirit, any guitarist will be appreciative of this classic piece, a little too shouty for my liking, but just imagine sweating your head off in a sweaty gig, shouting your face off to this little beauty. Classic.

8. MC Hammer- Can't Touch This, two words. Ultimate tune. Everyone must have done this at some time, during an awkward silence shouting, Stop! Hammer time! If you haven't, please do so soon, it's a brilliant laugh, and everyone is guaranteed to sing 'Can't Touch This'

7. Robbie Williams- No Regrets, a personal favourite, and anyone who doesn't like Robbie deserves a long lesson in music, ignore his drug addictions, and personal troubles and listen to the music. This song is also very personal to Robbie as he wrote it himself about his feelings after leaving boy band Take That, as the last line say 'I guess the love we once had is officially. Dead'

6. Blur- Track 2, a typical feel good track if there ever was one, during the pop battle with Oasis in the 90's which I wish I was old enough to remember) Blur released this to turn many to 'the dark side' in the battle, my opinions on the battle remain private...

5. Oasis- Masterplan, ...until now, there was really only one winner wasn't there? The charisma, brilliant songs and all round legendaryness of Oasis makes them the best band of the 90's for me, and 'Masterplan' was a great example of why, an eye opener to all the 'music' in the charts today, of which there is none.

4. Take That- Back For Good, now this is a song that everybody knows, sings along to and takes them back. After Robbie Williams' departure from Take That, could they return with anything good? The answer was a resounding 'Yes' and this is a timeless classic. Also a good song to sing at very amusing yet insensitive moments...

3. Eiffel 65- I'm Blue, some may say this is one of the most annoying songs of all time. Most however, will agree with me and say that actually, it's a brilliant feel good anthem written by Italian group Eiffel 65, which was their only song of note, by what a song it is, a great song to end the decade.

2. Wet Wet Wet- Love is all Around, another beautifully sensitive song when sung well, and Wet Wet Wet's cover of the song, originally performed by 'The Troggs' is my favourite simply for it's beautiful tone, this version was sang as the soundtrack for the movie 'Four Weddings and a Funeral' and is a notable song with famous lyrics, one of my all time favourites.

1. U2- Beautiful Day, I never actually realised that this song was a 90's hit, I, wrongly, thought it was a 'naughties hit' it was an automatic number one for my list. This song conjures up images of  a summer's day without a cloud in the sky, a 'Beautiful Day' and the ultimate feel good song. A worthy number one for me.