The Meaning of Life

Monty Python once claimed the 'Meaning of Life' to be 42. As convincing as their argument was, I'm not totally sure of its accuracy and decided to search long and hard into the depths of my head and find what everyone's looking for: The meaning of life.

I can't claim to be totally correct, but I can't be too far away with my years worth of evidence.

Many perceive the meaning of life to be something close to heart, religious or linked with fate. All of these claims are incorrect.

Firstly, religion is a myth; it's common knowledge that religion is a human's way of dealing with occurrences it can't comprehend. Therefore we aren't put on earth to please or to honour God, we shouldn't be brainwashed into living a certain way by a mythical being, if we should then who wouldn't live in honour of Bob the Builder or Postman Pat?

Fate is the belief that everything was meant to be, and us as humans have no control over our destiny or actions because everything was planned to happen how it is. This again isn't true as this would eliminate life's meaning. Fate, like religion, is a way of reassuring the mind of potential reasons why things happen to relieve a lack of control. Who decides fate? Why does fate exist? Is our life mapped out in the stars? Does anyone really care? Can someone also explain to me how the Holocaust or World Wars were fate?

So the meaning of life must be something obvious right? Well possibly, a man (or woman) is put on earth to live, reproduce and die. Therefore can those that don't have offspring consider themselves failures? Who knows, yet this is the only pattern that links all animals on earth. So maybe we can conclude that the whole point of the human race is to survive, to live on, to reproduce and not die out. Yet we won't live forever...

I feel, life isn't about merely existing, as anyone can do that. A man that makes no mistakes yet doesn't achieve anything would have just as much meaning to his life as a life saver or a revolutionist who changes the world.

The meaning of your life is determined by what you achieve, a Fireman that saves people's life's everyday or the man that one day find the cure to cancer will have far more meaning to their life than a serial killer or a rapist.

This means you are judged by what you achieve rather than just merely existing, as Kurt Cobain once said "It's better to burn out than fade away." Meaning it's better to achieve whilst you are on earth rather than just be there.

So you can live in a way that would honour a metaphoric God, claim love at first sight or just live to be happy; yet no matter what you do, you live to achieve.

So I would argue that the meaning of life is achievement. Imagine a world with no life, just nature. This would be a pointless world as nothing has been achieved, just vast nothingness. The world may die one day, we may burn ourselves to extinction yet at least we'd have achieved something whilst we are here, as it's better to burn out that to fade away.

Therefore the meaning of one's life is a personal thing, nobody can truly define somebody else's meaning of life because everyone's achievements and ambitions are personal. Nobody can tell you what you dream about at night, so if you dream of flying, then the meaning of your life is flying. If you dream of winning, the meaning of your life is winning. If you dream of frogs...

So I have unraveled the meaning of life and succeeded where many others before me have failed, therefore I claim that the meaning of the last 30 minutes of my life was finding the meaning of my life.

Oh how the mind boggles, so the meaning of life appears to be ambition and achievement, which are changing all the time. Therefore the meaning of life is changing all the time and is impossible to detect...

My World Cup Review

Amid the Jabulani, Bofana Bofana, Vuvuzelas and awful commentators, believe it or not, there was actually a World Cup going on...

And what a great World Cup it was, there were many surprises, spectacular failures and controversy, making South Africa 2010 as good as any other tournament I can remember, we had Italy and France crashing out, more rows, particularly from the Les Blues, phantom goals, choreographed goal celebrations and those bloody vuvuzelas, here are my highs and lows aswell as how my predictions went.

Highs

African Nations,

Ever since that opening game in Soccer City on June 11th, the scene was set, South Africa were everyone's second favourite nation, with every neutral willing them to do well, and alot of football fans wanted an African team to go far, with the tournament being held in Africa, and many strong African teams taking part, many thought this would be the year. And it was, well, we didn't get an an African winner, but South Africa won everyone's hearts if not a place in the second round, 'Tshabalala' was the name on everyone's lips after that screamer against Mexico, and they became very popular after a victory over the French. Ivory Coast were expected to do the best of the six African nations on show, but in a tough group, they fell to Brazil and could only draw to Portugal, meaning a last game win over Korea DPR was meaningless, so Drogba and co went home earlier than planned. Nigeria were also sent packing after the group stages after a poor three games, after a slow start against Argentina, they then threw away a lead against Greece and ended up losing 2-1 to an average Greek side, they then went into the final game against South Korea needing a win, Yakubu's horror miss meant they only drew 2-2 and crashed out prompting a thread of a two year football ban for the nation from their government, it was later dropped. Algeria earned a point against England, but were very disappointing, and despite Samuel Eto'o, Cameroon went out without a single point, meaning that the most successful Africans were Ghana. Lead by the impressive Asamoah Gyan, they managed a win and a draw to finish second behind the impressive Germany, many thought this would make them England's opponents, after England's poor showing however, Ghana faced the USA in the second round, and managed a 2-1 extra time win, with Gyan bagging the winner. The Quarter-final with Uruguay was painful for Ghana, with the score tied at 1-1 in the 120th minute, Luis Suarez handled blatantly on the line, handing Asamoah Gyan the chance to fire them into the semi's from the spot, he hit the bar, and the Uruguayans managed to win on penalties, it was cruel for Ghana, but their success was a success for football.

'Tika Taka'

The highly inventive name of the Spanish's beautiful brand of football, that flowed brilliantly, and graced the tournament with flair and breath-taking football. The phrase 'tika taka' means a fluid, short passing system that allows players to have total freedom and creates new football onomatopoeia. When a player such as Fabregas, Arsenal's star player, can only make the bench, you know that this Spanish team are something special, and were worthy winners of the World's greatest prize, with such a strong spine to the team, and with every player truly gifted with a ball at their feet, Spain were a team of geniuses, other teams had the odd one, Germany had Ozil, Holland had Sneijder, Argentina had Messi and England had Heskey, but no team had a collective footballing brilliance like Spain had, and their victory was brilliant fro the sport, as it proves that beautiful football can be winning football. With Casillas, Puyol, Pique, Alonso, Xavi, Iniesta, and Villa, Spain had a dream team. England flopped when one of their stars (Rooney) turned up unfit and out of form, Spain still looked amazing with one of theirs (Torres) in the same situation. You look forward to seeing this Spanish side for many years to come, and if the Spanish La Liga is like that every week, then it's every bit as good as the English Premier League

El Diego

What can I say about him? Well Forlan (see my 'Football Legends' blog post), along with Pique, showed that he was the 'one that got away' from Fergie at Man Utd, and showed the potential that made United fork out the money for him. Forlan was immense, and even won the Golden Ball after almost single handedly taking Uruguay to the semi's. Everything about just said 'quality.' His trademark head band, his confidence from any distance and set piece dominance made him a constant threat, as shown by his five goals in South Africa, including corkers against Ghana and Germany. Expect a big summer move from Atletico Madrid, hopefully to the Premier League, is Wigan too optimistic?


My Bets

I managed to make the World Cup a profitable event aswell as an entertaining one, with a few small bets on the outcome of the finals, I managed to bag myself £32, shared with a sister who claimed half the winnings, despite not contributing much to the bets, besides half the money that is. I had bets on a Holland vs Spain final, to my joy that turned out to be correct, I had money on a Holland victory, and money on a Spain win, so the final was a win win situation for me, I also had bets on Miroslav Klose being top scorer at 33/1 and England to reach the semi's, okay, the latter didn't happen, but Klose was only 1 goal off top scorer and had me excited at one point, but that didn't happen either, his teammate Thomas Muller bagged that prize with 5 quality goals, I wonder what odds he was at?

However, there's two sides to every coin, so here are my World Cup Lows

The great disappointment /la grande déception/ la grande delusione

2010  was the year of European failures, being English, we should come to expect failure by now, but it's how we expect to do well at every tournament, how 'this year is our year' but I thought that was the case in 2006, and 2004, and 2002, and 2000... At least we're not alone, as I predicted (tongue in cheek as we speak) Italy were poor, and France were even worse, all three teams have alot of talent, and one paper are great teams. But if football has taught me one thing, it's to never judge a team on paper, as the game isn't played on paper, otherwise "I'd just fax them a 1-0 defeat" (Paul Jewell, 2007) The Italians though, will be the most angered, going into the tournament as holders, they seemed to lack passion, leading to their group stage exit, even New Zealand finished above them! Hang your heads in shame. France were a disgrace, but we should expect at every tournament a huge fallout, think Davids and Kluivert, McCarthy and Keane and so on. The french, admittedly were held back by a terrible manager, but the players should take some blame too, Patrice Evra, as captain, should be setting a better example to the rest of the team than falling out with one of the coaches, the lack of harmony showed on the pitch and the crashed out with just one goal and one point. I feel alot better having typed that, it makes England's tournament look a great success. Let's be honest, we should have reached the semi's, if we'd topped our group, we'd have faced Ghana then Uruguay, but ifs are useless. We flopped majorly, Gerrard on the left, Rob Green's butter fingers, Heskey's lack of firepower, Capello's very strict attitude, Rooney's fitness, Lampard's phantom goal, Upon and Terry's partnership, I could go on...


The Final

The only real success of the final was that Spain won and a great player scored the winner, besides that, it was poor, this was no fault of Spain's, but due to Holland's match spoiling tactics and foul play. It was clear to see from the off what the game plan was, kick Spain and stop them from playing, Van Bommell, lucky not to have been sent off in every game so far, was reckless, even Sneijder was uncharacteristically dirty and De Jong thought he was Jackie Chan for a brief moment, and yet only saw yellow. Holland could easily have won the game, their dangerman Arjen Robben went clean through twice, and was thwarted by Casillas on both occasions, had he scored either chance, Holland probably would have won, unfairly. The first half was one of few chances, but many yellows, Holland should have been down to at most 9, and the Spanish must have been fearful of their footballing careers being cut short due to injury, oh and there was that idiot 'Jimmy Jump' who decided it would be funny to run on the pitch before kick off, why isn't this guy banned from all stadiums? The second half was an improvement, with more chances and less cards, but no goals, the half hour of extra time was far more entertaining an both teams could have scored at least twice, Holland were eventually down to 10, when Everton's Johnny Heitinja gave referee Howard Webb no choice but to show a red, the moment of the game game when Iniesta came up with a glimpse of magic to seal the game, a bright moment of a dark final.

The Theatrics

This has been an issue for a while, drama queens. Whilst alot of the time the divers are fouled, they roll about on the floor as if they've been shot, clutching their knee and rolling around in apparent agony, only to be on their feet taking the free-kick seconds later, they really do defy human logic. Either that, or they're just terrible actors. There were many culprits, I don't have time to name them all, there was Ramos, Robben (he's a master at it) Drogba, Capdevila, but the one that annoyed me most was Brazil's Lucio. He's 6 foot 4, built like a tank, yet still rolls on the floor and cries like a baby, why? You've won the free kick, get on and take it, I don't pay a TV license to see you rolling around on the floor! Rant Over!! 

My Predictions

In one of my previous Blog posts, 'My Guide to World Cup 2010' I made some predictions on the following things, how many did I get right?


Favourites


Spain, and they won aswell, which I have to admit I didn't predict, the favourites aren't supposed to win are they? It spoils the plot, New Zealand would have been a more popular winner, but unfortunately, the World Cup isn't a soap or movie, no points for that one.


Underdogs


Germany, well I think we can agree I got that one right, 'never underestimate the Germans' is a well used phrase, and judging by this tournament, it isn't past it's sell by date just yet. A very impressive performance by the Germans, resulting in a third place finishing, Muller, Ozil and Schweinsteiger particularly impressed, aswell as old heads Klose and Mertesacker, even without talisman Ballack, the Germans were fearful. One point for that one.


Spectacular Failures


I knew there'd be one, I said Portugal and Italy, with Italy being correct I think I can claim half a point for that one. They came bottom of their group and never looked like the side that blew us away four years ago, I was relying on Ivory Coast to come up trumps and Ronaldo to spark a row for Portugal to claim this prize, they did make it to the second round, but crashed out to arch rivals Spain. The greatest Spectacular failures award has to go to France however, the biggest sulkers and worst manager to go with a talented set of players, would England take the bronze medal? Half a point for that one.


Lose all three group games


I predicted Korea DPR and New Zealand, the Kiwi's shocked me aswell as many others by coming home with no defeats, but three draws meant a creditable third place finish and avoided this award if I edit this award to 'Draw all three group games' would I get the point? Korea DPR claim me half a point, which is half a point more than they accumulated, losing creditably 2-1 to Brazil, but then getting smashed 7-0 by Ronaldo and co, before losing to Ivory Coast, at least at home they'll have no idea it ever happened. Joint winners of this prize are Korea DPR and Cameroon. Half a point there.


Top Scorer


My tip was David Villa, although I did have a few quid on Miroslav Klose to bring home the Golden Boot, he was one off with four. David Villa, to mine and his credit, finished with as joint top scorer with five goals, but Thomas Muller pipped him to the title as he claimed more assists. No points there for me unfortunately, but I'm sure Villa won't mind too much, winning the cup itself and being one of the tournament's star players won't go down too badly, he can now enjoy a season at the Nou Camp following a big money move from Valencia.


The High Class Flop

The credit of winning this unfortunate award has to be shared between Wayne Rooney and Fernando Torres, admittedly both were unfit, but also out of sorts, both came home goalless, but Torres came home with the biggest prize, while Rooney came home to millions of unhappy fans, it's an interesting game of 'spot the difference.' My tip of Mario Gomez wasn't high class enough to win, but he was certaintly a flop. No points here.


Overall: 2/6, a poor score for myself I'm afraid, looks like I'll have to book up my ideas for the Premier League predictions, join me in August for that.

So, after all the goals, refereeing decision and controversy, the last vuvuzela has been blown, the countdown now begins for Brazil 2014, when we'll do it all over again, maybe that will be England's year...

Top 90's Tunes

Okay, I may have been born in 1995, making my arrival too late to be considered a 90's kid as I hardly remember the 90's, never mind claim I grew up then, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate the top music that came out of the era that was the 90's.

In an era where Playstation was born, Tamagotchi's ruled supreme and 'Girl Power' was the motto, music had alot to live up to following the 80's, but with bands like Nirvana, U2, Oasis and Take That, plus solo artists like Britney, Kylie and Robbie, music in the 90's didn't fail to meet the public's high standards, and, unlike today, the charts were filled with top stuff. So after asking for the opinion of friends, and after scanning we7 and Wikipedia from top to bottom, here's my favourites...

15. Faithless- Insomnia, this is one of those classics, with few lyrics and a laid back style to the song, Insomnia was just one of dance god's Faithless' hits and was first released in 1995, with the original being nearly 11 minutes in length. The radio edit was cut down to just 3:34 thankfully, as never how good a song is, it is vulnerable to being over played and after just one song of 11 minutes it'd get boring, a top tune though that kicks off my top 15.

14. The Verve- Bitter Sweet Symphony, when it hit the charts in 1997, Bitter Sweet Symphony was seen as as Wigan based 'The Verve's' biggest hit and peaked at #2 and it's album 'Urban Hymns' The violin rift makes this song unique and notable, meaning this song will be a timeless classic, well worthy of it's placing at 14.

13. Cornershop- Brimful of Asha, a catchy tune released in 1997 and remixed by 'Fatboy Slim', the later's chart position was significantly higher than the original, reaching #1 in 1998, but I still prefer the original, basically for it's originality (surprisingly) and acoustic feel. The song was written in tribute to Indian singer Asha Bhosle, any coincidence that it was sang by a group called 'Cornershop?'

12. Foo Fighters- Everlong, in all Foo Fighter's long career, I don't think they've eclipsed 'Everlong' a rock masterclass from the dawn of summer 1997, of which I have to say I've mastered on Guitar Hero, and I have to admit it's the first time I've encountered the song, shameful I know. After being brought up in pop music, as reflected by my higher listed songs, I'd never came across 'Everlong' until 'Guitar Hero World Tour', and ever since, it's been a favourite of the time.

11. Westlife- Flying Without Wing, unlike the above songs, I actually remember listening to this song in the 90's, rather than just appreciating it in the next decade. With my sister being obsessed with Westlife at the time, it would have been a crime not to include the Irish pop geniuses, and after finding out 'Uptown Girl' was released in 2001, this was my automatic replacement. This song has a unique feel to it, a classic. The amount of times you've heard the expression 'Flying without wings' in real life is untrue and a tribute to Westlife, who's newer material I have to say just isn't the same. 

10. The Goo Goo Dolls- Iris, a typical example of a song that you can't put a name to, but after recommendation from a friend (who remains unnamed) this was a certain for the top 10, why isn't music like this anymore?

9. Nirvana- Smells Like Teen Spirit, any guitarist will be appreciative of this classic piece, a little too shouty for my liking, but just imagine sweating your head off in a sweaty gig, shouting your face off to this little beauty. Classic.

8. MC Hammer- Can't Touch This, two words. Ultimate tune. Everyone must have done this at some time, during an awkward silence shouting, Stop! Hammer time! If you haven't, please do so soon, it's a brilliant laugh, and everyone is guaranteed to sing 'Can't Touch This'

7. Robbie Williams- No Regrets, a personal favourite, and anyone who doesn't like Robbie deserves a long lesson in music, ignore his drug addictions, and personal troubles and listen to the music. This song is also very personal to Robbie as he wrote it himself about his feelings after leaving boy band Take That, as the last line say 'I guess the love we once had is officially. Dead'

6. Blur- Track 2, a typical feel good track if there ever was one, during the pop battle with Oasis in the 90's which I wish I was old enough to remember) Blur released this to turn many to 'the dark side' in the battle, my opinions on the battle remain private...

5. Oasis- Masterplan, ...until now, there was really only one winner wasn't there? The charisma, brilliant songs and all round legendaryness of Oasis makes them the best band of the 90's for me, and 'Masterplan' was a great example of why, an eye opener to all the 'music' in the charts today, of which there is none.

4. Take That- Back For Good, now this is a song that everybody knows, sings along to and takes them back. After Robbie Williams' departure from Take That, could they return with anything good? The answer was a resounding 'Yes' and this is a timeless classic. Also a good song to sing at very amusing yet insensitive moments...

3. Eiffel 65- I'm Blue, some may say this is one of the most annoying songs of all time. Most however, will agree with me and say that actually, it's a brilliant feel good anthem written by Italian group Eiffel 65, which was their only song of note, by what a song it is, a great song to end the decade.

2. Wet Wet Wet- Love is all Around, another beautifully sensitive song when sung well, and Wet Wet Wet's cover of the song, originally performed by 'The Troggs' is my favourite simply for it's beautiful tone, this version was sang as the soundtrack for the movie 'Four Weddings and a Funeral' and is a notable song with famous lyrics, one of my all time favourites.

1. U2- Beautiful Day, I never actually realised that this song was a 90's hit, I, wrongly, thought it was a 'naughties hit' it was an automatic number one for my list. This song conjures up images of  a summer's day without a cloud in the sky, a 'Beautiful Day' and the ultimate feel good song. A worthy number one for me.

My guide to the World Cup 2010

"The World Cup- truly a global event" As John Motson once said, there's nothing quite like stating the obvious is there? Here's my guide to the one thing that everyone's eyes are glued on, and I mean everyone.

First, you must do the following, there's no way anyone is stopping you from having the full World Cup experience, after all, it only comes around every four years.

1. Book the month off work, it doesn't matter how, claim maternity leave, say you're ill, say you've been employed by NASA to fly to the moon. Literally anything to make sure you don't miss anything.

2. The biggest tele in the house is yours for the whole month, Coronation Street, Eastenders and the likes, are banned, there's zero toleration on this rule.

3. Put a HUGE England flag up outside your house, just to show your support.

4. Watch every game, you can't miss a single goal, otherwise it just wouldn't be the same. You must also have your phone switched off (to avoid interference) and plenty of beer and doughnuts.

5. Play a drinking game whilst watching the match, these are classic, preferably play a good one with plenty of your mates such as, http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/group.php?gid=382779040096&v=info&ref=ts or http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pages/The-Park-Ji-Sung-Drinking-Game-/108416549183773?ref=searchsid=p2JsflxDdTizqHEaf-9cCw.1126423228..1

6. Take part in a sweep between your mates, this has to be done as it's tradition, it adds a little more competitiveness to things.

7. Put on some bets, whether it's with your mates or with an actual bookies, you must have something riding on the tournament. See below for tips...

In my guide I'll also by giving you my opinions on which teams are the...

Favourites
Brazil, as always, are one of the favourites, but Spain are fancied by many to take home the trophy this year. After blowing away everybody at 2008's European Championships, Spain leaped up a few places in FIFA's world rankings and with their mass amount of global superstars, it's not hard to see why they go into the tournament as favourites. With the likes of Casillas, Puyol, Ramos, Alonso, Fabregas, Iniesta, Xavi, Torres and Villa just to name a few, it's going to take a big effort to knock them out.

Underdogs
Honestly, never underestimate the Germans, although on paper a distinctly average team, especially following the loss of talismanic captain Michael Ballack, Germany have rarely failed to over perform and with Joachim Low in charge, they could be an outsider, expect the semis. Another possible outsider is Ivory Coast, lead by Didier Drogba, they have a blend of hard working war horses and skillful forwards, the likes of Kolo and Yaya Toure, Emmanuel Eboue, Dider Zokora and Salomon Kalou will be looking to surprise the Brazilians and the Portuguese in the group stages.

Spectacular Failures
There's always at least one at every major tournament, France fell in 2002, Italy and Germany flooped at Euro 2004, Czech Republic and Brazil disappointed in Germany and England failed to qualify for Euro 2008. Expect a similar shock this year, with Portugal in the group of death, they could well be the ones that fall early, which would be much to the delight of every Englishman, with Ronaldo leading the team almost single handedly, don't be surprised if there's tears and tantrums, aswell as the odd wink. With an ageing squad and the loss of the inspirational Francesco Totti and Alessandro Del Piero, don't be surprised if holders Italy go home early either.

Lose all three group games
Unfortunately, there's always those that go home without a single point after a disastrous World Cup, there are a few obvious contenders this year, South Korea and Japan don't look like setting the world alight, and New Zealand look set to struggle in their group games against Italy, Paraguay and Slovakia, with the majority of their players being unknown and the others only recognised by followers of League 1 football (bar captain Ryan Nelsen that is) don't be too shocked if they go back down under pointless and goalless. Korea DPR also look set to struggle, but luckily for their players, followers at home will only see highlights if they win, it's also quite lucky for the fans aswell, because this way the won't have to suffer the pain of defeat, I wonder if Mr Cameron has considered a similar approach?

Here I will tell you which player will be the...

Top Scorer
This is a tough call, and one that'll earn you alot of money if successful. There'll be the usual names thrown in there, but don't be surprised if the winner is an outsider, for example it may be worth a gamble to put a few quid on Samuel Eto'o, if his Cameroon team go far, he'll have a big part in it and will be at higher odds than his rivals due to his poorer team mates. Obafemi Martins and Yakubu are in a similar scenario with Nigeria, Old war horse Miroslav Klose has scored 5 goals at both of the last two tournaments, and is another outsider, but my tip for the Golden Boot is David Villa. If Spain go far, which they probably will, he'll score for fun, and in a creative team full of talent, he'll be hard to stop, although at low odds, he's worth a punt.

The High Class Flop
The World Cup can be too demanding for even the world's biggest stars, especially those whose team is poorer than they are, or those that believe they're bigger than the team. Ronaldo is a candidate, although it's unlikely, he may get frustrated with his teammates in South Africa and lose his head. Another candidate is Brazil's Robinho, after a hugely unsuccessful spell in Manchester, he'll be desperate to perform, but if his ego gets the better of him, he may be the laughing stock of the tournament, equally he may be one of the stars of the tournament. However, my tip for the biggest high class flop is German Mario Gomez, shocking at the last World Cup, and after a poor domestic season, the stage us set for Gomez to make a fool of himself, that's is he plays, Germany have Miroslav Klose and Lukas Podolski ready o take his place.

The Most Disappointed Not To Make The Cut
There are many that have missed out on this year's tournament, and not just because of injury either. Brazil boss Dunga made the brave decision to leave out trickster Ronaldinho for this summer's tournament, Maradona made the controversial choice of dropping Cambiasso and Zanetti, yet he still found a place for the flops Veron and Palermo. David Beckham and Michael Ballack both miss out due to injury, however I'd be most dissapointed if I was Andrei Arshavin, at 29, he may have missed his last chance of a World Cup campaign after Russia failed to qualify, as an exceptional talent, he'll be majorly disappointed that his teammates didn't match his own ability in qualifying.

Most Likely To Miss a Penalty It must be an England player surely? There's many an English footballer that's missed from the spot in recent years, think Stuart Pearce, Chris Waddle, David Batty, Paul Ince, Gareth Southgate, David Beckham, Darius Vassell, Steven Gerrard, I could go on. Frank Lampard has hardly been prolific from the spot recently either, missing with his last two attempts and missing three in all this season. Yet the most likely to miss a penalty has to be Argentinian Martin Palermo, in an international game against Columbia in 1999, Palermo managed to miss not one, not two, but three penalties in one match! At 35, this is a surprise call up for Palermo, and if he steps up in a shootout, the ball may be fired a long way out of the stadium.

The Keeper Most Likely to Save a Penalty
There are a few candidates, Italy's Gigi Buffon is a renowned penalty specialist and Casillas isn't bad either, however, my winner has to be Tottenham and Brazil's eccentric keeper Gomes. In a successful Premier League season, Gomes managed to save three penalties, all of which came against Darren Bent, who unsurprisingly is English. If England face Brazil in a shootout, and Bent steps up against Gomes, don't be too surprised if it doesn't hit the net.

Thanks for reading my guide on the World Cup, and I hope you enjoy it just as much as me. Before I leave, here are some vids of classic World Cup moments to keep you entertained.

The Hand of God http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbbsytHDp2o

Those three penalty misses from Palermo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FD93d2Blkhc

Ronaldinho's crazy free kick vs England in 2002 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLzHmQQ-Wfc&feature=related

The headbutt by Zidane http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-I7-KEa99Fw

The day England were kings http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtjxTXvIRGc

100 Things to do before you die...

When thinking of what to put in a blog post, you'd be amazed at the things you come up with...

So, I Thomas Andrew Wilson, have have decided to come up with this list containing everything that every human being must do before they die, if they haven't done them already. I'm sure the filthier minded of you will think of some additions to this list, but here goes...

1. Be born
2. Fall off a bike
3. Sing in the shower
4. Refuse to eat any more greens
5. Give your friend a punch after spotting a yellow car
6. Break a mobile phone
7. Make a prank call
8. Receive a prank call
9. Write a Blog
10. Learn how to swear in a foreign language
11. Be sent to the head's office
12. Miss a bus/train
13. Do something you'll really regret in the future
14. Get very drunk
15. Bunk off school
16. Wind someone up until the point where they threaten to kill you or themself
17. Spray or shave someone's hair whilst they're asleep
18. Put an England flag up outside your window
19. Stay up all night
20. Draw a mustache or devil horns on someone's face in a newspaper
21. Kick a football into a neighbour's garden
22. Get told off for the above
23. Spend 10 hours solid on a games console
24. Do a fart so smelly that everyone in the room is forced to evacuate
25. Own a rape alarm
26. Text someone so their phone will hopefully go off in a really awkward place, eg a library or an important business meeting
27. Make a turban out of a t-shirt and start dancing Bollywood style!
28. Get sunburnt whilst sunbathing
29. Cut yourself whilst shaving, by accident of course
30. Do the 'sniffer test' to see if your pants are clean
31. Buy one of your mates a really inappropriate birthday card
32. Sing 'dry your eyes mate' at a really insensitive moment
33. Cry with laughter
34. Bet on the Grand National
35. Walk into a lamppost whilst texting
36. Snap a string on a guitar
37. Get rugby tackled
38. Fall over whilst drunk
39. Have a water fight
40. Wear your undies outside your trousers so you look like a superhero
41. Get paranoid that there definitely is a terrorist on your plane
42. Attempt to fly
43. Make a sandcastle
44. Attempt a piggy back that has as many people as possible piled on top of eachother
45. Have a pile on
46. Attempt to throw a piece of paper into a bin from a reasonable distance
47. Try to lick your elbow
48. Find something you were looking for ages to find, after you've brought a replacement
49. Ignore the instruction manual and do it 'your way'
50. Take part in an egg and spoon race
51. Do the conga
52. Meet someone famous and get them to sign your arse
53. Climb a tree
54. Fall out of a tree
55. Blow somebody else's candles out on their birthday cake
56. Fall up the stairs
57. Adopt a stray cat and name it Tibbles
58. Own a pet Goldfish
59. Drop French at the earliest opportunity
60. Cheat on a school test
61. Wreck a pair of white trainers by getting them really muddy
62. Score, in every meaning of the word
63. Stay awake until midnight on New Year's Eve
64. Die your hair blonde, even if you're naturally blonde
65. Have a thumb war with someone, and win
66. Take a dump in the model toilets in B&Q
67. Walk in dog poo
68. Read a book, backwards
69. Learn how to write your name in Arabic
70. Name your child after a TV character
71. Watch the whole series of a TV programme without a single break
72. Sneak your rubbish into a mate's pocket because you're too lazy to find a bin
73. Roll down a hill
74. Wear a pair of sunglasses when it's raining
75. Listen to a song over and over again until the point where you can memorise the lyrics
76. Wear your partners underwear for a day without them, or anyone else, noticing
77. Do the 'Mr Bean' trouser trick
78. Master the art of Tiddlywinks
79. Play Chicken
80. Play Numberwang
81. Race your pet rabbit around the garden
82. Keg a mate
83. Double Keg a mate
84. Ride a horse
85. Start a chant at a football match, the more violent/rude the better
86. Put a potato up someone's exhaust, preferably a neighbour nobody likes
87. Play on a games console blindfolded, and win
88. Buy an issue of FHM/Nuts/Zoo
89. Win a game of pub cricket
90. Buy everyone in the pub a drink
91. Act sober whilst in the company of family, (whilst drunk of course)
92. Try to carry 6 glasses at once
93. Perfect a backflip
94. Spray a stranger with Lynx
95. Develop the ability to make the perfect beans on toast
96. Make a daisy chain that's 1,000 daisy's long
97. Invent your own word or phrase
98. Dodge all the stewards at a sports event and make it onto the pitch
99. Run off with someone's wig
100. Run a marathon

I think that everyone should be given this list, and they can stick it above their bed and tick off every accomplishment, the quickest to complete all 100 would win a prize too, but that's probably not going to happen. I hope you enjoyed reading this list and will try and complete the list yourself.

Cheers

twils

Welcome to my blog, Top 10 Football Legends

Hiya, and welcome to my first blog post.

When thinking of things to do to kill my free-time, I thought of revising, nah. I thought of getting a job, nah. Instead, I thought I'd put my enthusiasm and creativity into a blog and entertain a few bored web searchers across the globe. Yes!

Then I had to think up of a name for this blog, something really catchy, intelligent and quite representative of the blog itself. In the end, I came up with a name which is none of those 'How to tame your pet gorilla, among other things' Admit it, you're loving it already!

After deciding that my blog would contain posts about anything and no specific topic really, I thought that I'd start of with talking (or typing) about some of my favourite hobbies. Football. Or soccer if you're reading from the US. Damn you and your 'soccer'

Lastly, I had to think of what I would actually write about football, yes football. So after many seconds of intelligent thought processing,I decided I'd write on the topic of legends. The word legend. Lets face it, it's an over used phrase, everyone refers to their mates as a legend (or a 'ledge') the funny window cleaner is a legend, that random kid in your school who can't spell his own name is a legend, you might class yourself as a legend, but here I'll discuss who I'd class as a footballing legend and why, based mainly on character than ability because lets face it there are many great players but not so many great chracters, that's what makes a true 'ledge.' Here's my Top 10...

10. Al Shagran, read the name. Nuff said.

9. Diego Forlan, Diego oaaah Diego oaaah, he comes from Uruguay, he stinks of fish pie! Well, maybe not quite, but the cultured ex-Man Utd forward was certainly unpredictable to say the least, which is just one of the criteria for a football legend. Far from the best player ever, Diego never seized to amaze fans how brilliant he could be one week, and the how drastically awful he could be another. Just his long, blonde locks, his Batistuta style hair band and take your shirt off celebration put him in the top 10. Oh, and the way he stuggled to put it back on after every goal, don't deny it ladies, you loved it! Old Trafford has never seen another stiker like him, that's for sure. For those of you that don't fully appreciate how much of a legend he is:
The miss: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_A6QHdWcXg
The clebration: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9s_oJaFXVrE&feature=related

8. Zinedine Zidane, what can I say about Zizou? Possibly the greatest player of his generation, the way he graced the pitch was a delight to watch and the way he had total control just make him a footballing god. Of course, he'll be forever known for that crazy head-but on Marco Materazzi in the World Cup Final of 2006, which incidentally was his last ever appearance in football. That'll do his skills injustice forever, but he just made the number 10 shirt his own and anyone that doesn't know who Zinedine Zidane is deserves a good slap round the face and a lesson in footy. Finally, possibly the greatest Champions League goal ever? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3m623uGCow

7. Fabien Barthez, they say all keepers are mad. Well, judging by Barthez this claim is most definitely true! After Sir Alex tried and failed several times to replace the 'Great Dane' Peter Schmeichel, United thought they'd found the cure to their problems when French keeper Fabian signed in 2001. How wrong could they be? He was eccentric to say the least, and after many embarrassing moments, he was sent back to France with his reputation in tatters. Luckily for him, he didn't have any hair to tear out. His antics in goal, and the way he made you feel that even your Gran has hope of a footballing career, make him a top 10 legend! Here's some vids to prove my point,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOGE6ZUfLN4&feature=related
"Is he offside? He must be offside!" Maybe not it would seem Fabien! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=677RvTR6zJ8&feature=related

6. Ali Dia, oh god, Ali Dia, what a disaster. In fact, he possibly had the shortest footballing career ever, but what a career it was! The greatest footballing con ever took place when and unnamed person rang up then Southampton manager Graeme Souness claiming to be then World Player of the Year, George Weah. He claimed that his cousin, one Ali Dia, was an exceptional talent just as good as himself, and he recommended that he gave him a trial. He'd previously tried the same prank on West Ham boss Harry Redknapp, he didn't fall for it. Souness however, fell for it, even the pranker must have been surprised that he'd got this far, but after Dia 'impressed' in a trial. He was named on the Saint's bench for a League game against Leeds. Early in the first half, club legend Matt Le Tissier pulled up with a calf strain. There was only one man to replace him, one Ali Dia! It turned out that instead of being an 'exceptional talent,' Dia turned out to be more of a headless chicken, who seemed to have no coordination between brain and feet. Before long, Souness took him off and the greatest prank ever was complete, it turns out that he'd been released by the less famous Blyth Spartans weeks earlier. Dia didn't give in though, he found a club closer to his true ability, non-league Gateshead! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GyT1r_oVcdA&feature=related

5. Eric Cantona, where can I start with Cantona? Well his unbelievable goal scoring talents could be mentioned, but he was just as well known for his crazy personality and occasional violent moments that landed him in hot water! The frenchman first came to us Brits notice at Leeds, before a transfer to Man Utd, where he earnt such a reputation and best days are remembered. Eric's craziest moment must have been that day at Selhurst Park when Man Utd were playing Crystal Palace, not many remember the game that day, but many remember the moment of madness that Cantona is best known for. After being sent off, Cantona got involved with an altercation with a Palace fan, after exchanging words, Cantona proceeded in karate kicking the fan in the chest, much to the shock of the whole nation. Claims that he was invited to the World Kick-boxing Championships that year can be confirmed as false. He suffered a year long ban, and his reputation was in tatters. Never mind how volatile, he's still a legend!
Vids: the best and worst of Cantona, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etAwiDwZHQc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovYWY4Pf9_M&feature=related

4. Diego Maradona, when you think of all-time greats, you think of Maradona. Not always the most popular, he had an unrivalled dribbling ability and the way he ripped apart defenders was second to none, he was class and had a top character to boot. The 'hand of god' moment still remains his most famous, and is still hated by English football fans for it, but who else can say they've won a World Cup single handedly? He'll be hoping for a similar outcome in South Africa this summer.
Hand of god http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbbsytHDp2o
What a goal http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rW-lK9F6TU

3. Paul Gascoigne, no legends list would be complete without a mention of one of Englands most gifted, and most amazing characters. Paul John Gascoigne. While he had undoubted ability, both this and the most lovable of chracters was on show during a Euro '96 game against Scotland. After England players were barracked by the media following an alleged night out involving a drinking game involving a dentist's chair. 'Gazza' responded in the only way he knew how, he scored an unbelievable goal, much to the joy of the whole country as he smashed past Andy Goram, he then produced an un-rivalled celebration as Teddy Sheringham squired a drink (admittedly water) down Gascoigne's throat to totally take the mick out of the media. That summed up Paul and everything he ever was. Vids, the moment itself, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0NT6aUwN8c
Paul at his best, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hr0Vroca5zg&feature=related


2. Paolo Di Canio, the Italian master himself, Paolo Di Canio won the hearts of many a football fan during his stay in England with Sheffield Wednesday, West Ham and Charlton. He personified the word 'dramatic' and whilst being a top class footballer, he was a typically Italian, crazy person, who got himself in trouble following a push on referee Paul Alcock, he was sent off , and an11 match ban followed. Paolo reminded me of footballs 'Del Boy', his heart was in the right place, but it didn't always happen for him. This was shown by an amazing piece of sportsmanship after goalkeeper Paul Gerrard lay injured on the floor, instead of scoring an easy goal, Di Canio stopped play and ended up costing the hammers a win! Despite the controversy, he was still loved by most and had an knack of scoring goals, including one of the Premier League's best for West Ham vs Wimbledon. Di Canio, a worthy runner up in my top 10 list!
The Goal: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUh-NcHi5ug
The Push: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TFVuHrwgyY&
The Legend: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgAbu4zOxg4&feature=relatedfeature=related

1. Jimmy Bullard, okay maybe I'm a little biast being a Wigan fan, but Jimmy has to be near the top of anyone's legends list, due to his jovial character and the love for him throughout the game. He came into the public's notice during Wigan's burst onto the Premier League scene, his antics maybe weren't as dramatic as Cantona or Di Canio and the likes, but he was far more light hearted and did everything with a smile on his face. Portrayed as a lovable cockney, Jimmy was, and still is, a huge hit on Soccer AM, and even has his own back door named after him on the show! He is known for his sense of humour and crafty prank pulling, aswell as being a handy footballer too. Words can't do justice to a worthy winner of the Legend's list! Vids, Jimmy's humorous ad that only he could pull off, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyZ7TfC5shU
A simple task made hard http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QC2Ady-WfMA&feature=related
Leapfrog http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMDin8UlYYU&feature=related
Abit of fun http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TZ_1jest_I&feature=related
Goal! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqLGnQJN1Sg
Another Goal! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FUD78jUV2o

Thanks for reading my blog post, please follow for more quality posts!

Cheers

twils