My guide to the World Cup 2010

"The World Cup- truly a global event" As John Motson once said, there's nothing quite like stating the obvious is there? Here's my guide to the one thing that everyone's eyes are glued on, and I mean everyone.

First, you must do the following, there's no way anyone is stopping you from having the full World Cup experience, after all, it only comes around every four years.

1. Book the month off work, it doesn't matter how, claim maternity leave, say you're ill, say you've been employed by NASA to fly to the moon. Literally anything to make sure you don't miss anything.

2. The biggest tele in the house is yours for the whole month, Coronation Street, Eastenders and the likes, are banned, there's zero toleration on this rule.

3. Put a HUGE England flag up outside your house, just to show your support.

4. Watch every game, you can't miss a single goal, otherwise it just wouldn't be the same. You must also have your phone switched off (to avoid interference) and plenty of beer and doughnuts.

5. Play a drinking game whilst watching the match, these are classic, preferably play a good one with plenty of your mates such as, http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/group.php?gid=382779040096&v=info&ref=ts or http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pages/The-Park-Ji-Sung-Drinking-Game-/108416549183773?ref=searchsid=p2JsflxDdTizqHEaf-9cCw.1126423228..1

6. Take part in a sweep between your mates, this has to be done as it's tradition, it adds a little more competitiveness to things.

7. Put on some bets, whether it's with your mates or with an actual bookies, you must have something riding on the tournament. See below for tips...

In my guide I'll also by giving you my opinions on which teams are the...

Favourites
Brazil, as always, are one of the favourites, but Spain are fancied by many to take home the trophy this year. After blowing away everybody at 2008's European Championships, Spain leaped up a few places in FIFA's world rankings and with their mass amount of global superstars, it's not hard to see why they go into the tournament as favourites. With the likes of Casillas, Puyol, Ramos, Alonso, Fabregas, Iniesta, Xavi, Torres and Villa just to name a few, it's going to take a big effort to knock them out.

Underdogs
Honestly, never underestimate the Germans, although on paper a distinctly average team, especially following the loss of talismanic captain Michael Ballack, Germany have rarely failed to over perform and with Joachim Low in charge, they could be an outsider, expect the semis. Another possible outsider is Ivory Coast, lead by Didier Drogba, they have a blend of hard working war horses and skillful forwards, the likes of Kolo and Yaya Toure, Emmanuel Eboue, Dider Zokora and Salomon Kalou will be looking to surprise the Brazilians and the Portuguese in the group stages.

Spectacular Failures
There's always at least one at every major tournament, France fell in 2002, Italy and Germany flooped at Euro 2004, Czech Republic and Brazil disappointed in Germany and England failed to qualify for Euro 2008. Expect a similar shock this year, with Portugal in the group of death, they could well be the ones that fall early, which would be much to the delight of every Englishman, with Ronaldo leading the team almost single handedly, don't be surprised if there's tears and tantrums, aswell as the odd wink. With an ageing squad and the loss of the inspirational Francesco Totti and Alessandro Del Piero, don't be surprised if holders Italy go home early either.

Lose all three group games
Unfortunately, there's always those that go home without a single point after a disastrous World Cup, there are a few obvious contenders this year, South Korea and Japan don't look like setting the world alight, and New Zealand look set to struggle in their group games against Italy, Paraguay and Slovakia, with the majority of their players being unknown and the others only recognised by followers of League 1 football (bar captain Ryan Nelsen that is) don't be too shocked if they go back down under pointless and goalless. Korea DPR also look set to struggle, but luckily for their players, followers at home will only see highlights if they win, it's also quite lucky for the fans aswell, because this way the won't have to suffer the pain of defeat, I wonder if Mr Cameron has considered a similar approach?

Here I will tell you which player will be the...

Top Scorer
This is a tough call, and one that'll earn you alot of money if successful. There'll be the usual names thrown in there, but don't be surprised if the winner is an outsider, for example it may be worth a gamble to put a few quid on Samuel Eto'o, if his Cameroon team go far, he'll have a big part in it and will be at higher odds than his rivals due to his poorer team mates. Obafemi Martins and Yakubu are in a similar scenario with Nigeria, Old war horse Miroslav Klose has scored 5 goals at both of the last two tournaments, and is another outsider, but my tip for the Golden Boot is David Villa. If Spain go far, which they probably will, he'll score for fun, and in a creative team full of talent, he'll be hard to stop, although at low odds, he's worth a punt.

The High Class Flop
The World Cup can be too demanding for even the world's biggest stars, especially those whose team is poorer than they are, or those that believe they're bigger than the team. Ronaldo is a candidate, although it's unlikely, he may get frustrated with his teammates in South Africa and lose his head. Another candidate is Brazil's Robinho, after a hugely unsuccessful spell in Manchester, he'll be desperate to perform, but if his ego gets the better of him, he may be the laughing stock of the tournament, equally he may be one of the stars of the tournament. However, my tip for the biggest high class flop is German Mario Gomez, shocking at the last World Cup, and after a poor domestic season, the stage us set for Gomez to make a fool of himself, that's is he plays, Germany have Miroslav Klose and Lukas Podolski ready o take his place.

The Most Disappointed Not To Make The Cut
There are many that have missed out on this year's tournament, and not just because of injury either. Brazil boss Dunga made the brave decision to leave out trickster Ronaldinho for this summer's tournament, Maradona made the controversial choice of dropping Cambiasso and Zanetti, yet he still found a place for the flops Veron and Palermo. David Beckham and Michael Ballack both miss out due to injury, however I'd be most dissapointed if I was Andrei Arshavin, at 29, he may have missed his last chance of a World Cup campaign after Russia failed to qualify, as an exceptional talent, he'll be majorly disappointed that his teammates didn't match his own ability in qualifying.

Most Likely To Miss a Penalty It must be an England player surely? There's many an English footballer that's missed from the spot in recent years, think Stuart Pearce, Chris Waddle, David Batty, Paul Ince, Gareth Southgate, David Beckham, Darius Vassell, Steven Gerrard, I could go on. Frank Lampard has hardly been prolific from the spot recently either, missing with his last two attempts and missing three in all this season. Yet the most likely to miss a penalty has to be Argentinian Martin Palermo, in an international game against Columbia in 1999, Palermo managed to miss not one, not two, but three penalties in one match! At 35, this is a surprise call up for Palermo, and if he steps up in a shootout, the ball may be fired a long way out of the stadium.

The Keeper Most Likely to Save a Penalty
There are a few candidates, Italy's Gigi Buffon is a renowned penalty specialist and Casillas isn't bad either, however, my winner has to be Tottenham and Brazil's eccentric keeper Gomes. In a successful Premier League season, Gomes managed to save three penalties, all of which came against Darren Bent, who unsurprisingly is English. If England face Brazil in a shootout, and Bent steps up against Gomes, don't be too surprised if it doesn't hit the net.

Thanks for reading my guide on the World Cup, and I hope you enjoy it just as much as me. Before I leave, here are some vids of classic World Cup moments to keep you entertained.

The Hand of God http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbbsytHDp2o

Those three penalty misses from Palermo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FD93d2Blkhc

Ronaldinho's crazy free kick vs England in 2002 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLzHmQQ-Wfc&feature=related

The headbutt by Zidane http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-I7-KEa99Fw

The day England were kings http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtjxTXvIRGc

100 Things to do before you die...

When thinking of what to put in a blog post, you'd be amazed at the things you come up with...

So, I Thomas Andrew Wilson, have have decided to come up with this list containing everything that every human being must do before they die, if they haven't done them already. I'm sure the filthier minded of you will think of some additions to this list, but here goes...

1. Be born
2. Fall off a bike
3. Sing in the shower
4. Refuse to eat any more greens
5. Give your friend a punch after spotting a yellow car
6. Break a mobile phone
7. Make a prank call
8. Receive a prank call
9. Write a Blog
10. Learn how to swear in a foreign language
11. Be sent to the head's office
12. Miss a bus/train
13. Do something you'll really regret in the future
14. Get very drunk
15. Bunk off school
16. Wind someone up until the point where they threaten to kill you or themself
17. Spray or shave someone's hair whilst they're asleep
18. Put an England flag up outside your window
19. Stay up all night
20. Draw a mustache or devil horns on someone's face in a newspaper
21. Kick a football into a neighbour's garden
22. Get told off for the above
23. Spend 10 hours solid on a games console
24. Do a fart so smelly that everyone in the room is forced to evacuate
25. Own a rape alarm
26. Text someone so their phone will hopefully go off in a really awkward place, eg a library or an important business meeting
27. Make a turban out of a t-shirt and start dancing Bollywood style!
28. Get sunburnt whilst sunbathing
29. Cut yourself whilst shaving, by accident of course
30. Do the 'sniffer test' to see if your pants are clean
31. Buy one of your mates a really inappropriate birthday card
32. Sing 'dry your eyes mate' at a really insensitive moment
33. Cry with laughter
34. Bet on the Grand National
35. Walk into a lamppost whilst texting
36. Snap a string on a guitar
37. Get rugby tackled
38. Fall over whilst drunk
39. Have a water fight
40. Wear your undies outside your trousers so you look like a superhero
41. Get paranoid that there definitely is a terrorist on your plane
42. Attempt to fly
43. Make a sandcastle
44. Attempt a piggy back that has as many people as possible piled on top of eachother
45. Have a pile on
46. Attempt to throw a piece of paper into a bin from a reasonable distance
47. Try to lick your elbow
48. Find something you were looking for ages to find, after you've brought a replacement
49. Ignore the instruction manual and do it 'your way'
50. Take part in an egg and spoon race
51. Do the conga
52. Meet someone famous and get them to sign your arse
53. Climb a tree
54. Fall out of a tree
55. Blow somebody else's candles out on their birthday cake
56. Fall up the stairs
57. Adopt a stray cat and name it Tibbles
58. Own a pet Goldfish
59. Drop French at the earliest opportunity
60. Cheat on a school test
61. Wreck a pair of white trainers by getting them really muddy
62. Score, in every meaning of the word
63. Stay awake until midnight on New Year's Eve
64. Die your hair blonde, even if you're naturally blonde
65. Have a thumb war with someone, and win
66. Take a dump in the model toilets in B&Q
67. Walk in dog poo
68. Read a book, backwards
69. Learn how to write your name in Arabic
70. Name your child after a TV character
71. Watch the whole series of a TV programme without a single break
72. Sneak your rubbish into a mate's pocket because you're too lazy to find a bin
73. Roll down a hill
74. Wear a pair of sunglasses when it's raining
75. Listen to a song over and over again until the point where you can memorise the lyrics
76. Wear your partners underwear for a day without them, or anyone else, noticing
77. Do the 'Mr Bean' trouser trick
78. Master the art of Tiddlywinks
79. Play Chicken
80. Play Numberwang
81. Race your pet rabbit around the garden
82. Keg a mate
83. Double Keg a mate
84. Ride a horse
85. Start a chant at a football match, the more violent/rude the better
86. Put a potato up someone's exhaust, preferably a neighbour nobody likes
87. Play on a games console blindfolded, and win
88. Buy an issue of FHM/Nuts/Zoo
89. Win a game of pub cricket
90. Buy everyone in the pub a drink
91. Act sober whilst in the company of family, (whilst drunk of course)
92. Try to carry 6 glasses at once
93. Perfect a backflip
94. Spray a stranger with Lynx
95. Develop the ability to make the perfect beans on toast
96. Make a daisy chain that's 1,000 daisy's long
97. Invent your own word or phrase
98. Dodge all the stewards at a sports event and make it onto the pitch
99. Run off with someone's wig
100. Run a marathon

I think that everyone should be given this list, and they can stick it above their bed and tick off every accomplishment, the quickest to complete all 100 would win a prize too, but that's probably not going to happen. I hope you enjoyed reading this list and will try and complete the list yourself.

Cheers

twils

Welcome to my blog, Top 10 Football Legends

Hiya, and welcome to my first blog post.

When thinking of things to do to kill my free-time, I thought of revising, nah. I thought of getting a job, nah. Instead, I thought I'd put my enthusiasm and creativity into a blog and entertain a few bored web searchers across the globe. Yes!

Then I had to think up of a name for this blog, something really catchy, intelligent and quite representative of the blog itself. In the end, I came up with a name which is none of those 'How to tame your pet gorilla, among other things' Admit it, you're loving it already!

After deciding that my blog would contain posts about anything and no specific topic really, I thought that I'd start of with talking (or typing) about some of my favourite hobbies. Football. Or soccer if you're reading from the US. Damn you and your 'soccer'

Lastly, I had to think of what I would actually write about football, yes football. So after many seconds of intelligent thought processing,I decided I'd write on the topic of legends. The word legend. Lets face it, it's an over used phrase, everyone refers to their mates as a legend (or a 'ledge') the funny window cleaner is a legend, that random kid in your school who can't spell his own name is a legend, you might class yourself as a legend, but here I'll discuss who I'd class as a footballing legend and why, based mainly on character than ability because lets face it there are many great players but not so many great chracters, that's what makes a true 'ledge.' Here's my Top 10...

10. Al Shagran, read the name. Nuff said.

9. Diego Forlan, Diego oaaah Diego oaaah, he comes from Uruguay, he stinks of fish pie! Well, maybe not quite, but the cultured ex-Man Utd forward was certainly unpredictable to say the least, which is just one of the criteria for a football legend. Far from the best player ever, Diego never seized to amaze fans how brilliant he could be one week, and the how drastically awful he could be another. Just his long, blonde locks, his Batistuta style hair band and take your shirt off celebration put him in the top 10. Oh, and the way he stuggled to put it back on after every goal, don't deny it ladies, you loved it! Old Trafford has never seen another stiker like him, that's for sure. For those of you that don't fully appreciate how much of a legend he is:
The miss: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_A6QHdWcXg
The clebration: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9s_oJaFXVrE&feature=related

8. Zinedine Zidane, what can I say about Zizou? Possibly the greatest player of his generation, the way he graced the pitch was a delight to watch and the way he had total control just make him a footballing god. Of course, he'll be forever known for that crazy head-but on Marco Materazzi in the World Cup Final of 2006, which incidentally was his last ever appearance in football. That'll do his skills injustice forever, but he just made the number 10 shirt his own and anyone that doesn't know who Zinedine Zidane is deserves a good slap round the face and a lesson in footy. Finally, possibly the greatest Champions League goal ever? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3m623uGCow

7. Fabien Barthez, they say all keepers are mad. Well, judging by Barthez this claim is most definitely true! After Sir Alex tried and failed several times to replace the 'Great Dane' Peter Schmeichel, United thought they'd found the cure to their problems when French keeper Fabian signed in 2001. How wrong could they be? He was eccentric to say the least, and after many embarrassing moments, he was sent back to France with his reputation in tatters. Luckily for him, he didn't have any hair to tear out. His antics in goal, and the way he made you feel that even your Gran has hope of a footballing career, make him a top 10 legend! Here's some vids to prove my point,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOGE6ZUfLN4&feature=related
"Is he offside? He must be offside!" Maybe not it would seem Fabien! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=677RvTR6zJ8&feature=related

6. Ali Dia, oh god, Ali Dia, what a disaster. In fact, he possibly had the shortest footballing career ever, but what a career it was! The greatest footballing con ever took place when and unnamed person rang up then Southampton manager Graeme Souness claiming to be then World Player of the Year, George Weah. He claimed that his cousin, one Ali Dia, was an exceptional talent just as good as himself, and he recommended that he gave him a trial. He'd previously tried the same prank on West Ham boss Harry Redknapp, he didn't fall for it. Souness however, fell for it, even the pranker must have been surprised that he'd got this far, but after Dia 'impressed' in a trial. He was named on the Saint's bench for a League game against Leeds. Early in the first half, club legend Matt Le Tissier pulled up with a calf strain. There was only one man to replace him, one Ali Dia! It turned out that instead of being an 'exceptional talent,' Dia turned out to be more of a headless chicken, who seemed to have no coordination between brain and feet. Before long, Souness took him off and the greatest prank ever was complete, it turns out that he'd been released by the less famous Blyth Spartans weeks earlier. Dia didn't give in though, he found a club closer to his true ability, non-league Gateshead! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GyT1r_oVcdA&feature=related

5. Eric Cantona, where can I start with Cantona? Well his unbelievable goal scoring talents could be mentioned, but he was just as well known for his crazy personality and occasional violent moments that landed him in hot water! The frenchman first came to us Brits notice at Leeds, before a transfer to Man Utd, where he earnt such a reputation and best days are remembered. Eric's craziest moment must have been that day at Selhurst Park when Man Utd were playing Crystal Palace, not many remember the game that day, but many remember the moment of madness that Cantona is best known for. After being sent off, Cantona got involved with an altercation with a Palace fan, after exchanging words, Cantona proceeded in karate kicking the fan in the chest, much to the shock of the whole nation. Claims that he was invited to the World Kick-boxing Championships that year can be confirmed as false. He suffered a year long ban, and his reputation was in tatters. Never mind how volatile, he's still a legend!
Vids: the best and worst of Cantona, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etAwiDwZHQc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovYWY4Pf9_M&feature=related

4. Diego Maradona, when you think of all-time greats, you think of Maradona. Not always the most popular, he had an unrivalled dribbling ability and the way he ripped apart defenders was second to none, he was class and had a top character to boot. The 'hand of god' moment still remains his most famous, and is still hated by English football fans for it, but who else can say they've won a World Cup single handedly? He'll be hoping for a similar outcome in South Africa this summer.
Hand of god http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbbsytHDp2o
What a goal http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rW-lK9F6TU

3. Paul Gascoigne, no legends list would be complete without a mention of one of Englands most gifted, and most amazing characters. Paul John Gascoigne. While he had undoubted ability, both this and the most lovable of chracters was on show during a Euro '96 game against Scotland. After England players were barracked by the media following an alleged night out involving a drinking game involving a dentist's chair. 'Gazza' responded in the only way he knew how, he scored an unbelievable goal, much to the joy of the whole country as he smashed past Andy Goram, he then produced an un-rivalled celebration as Teddy Sheringham squired a drink (admittedly water) down Gascoigne's throat to totally take the mick out of the media. That summed up Paul and everything he ever was. Vids, the moment itself, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0NT6aUwN8c
Paul at his best, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hr0Vroca5zg&feature=related


2. Paolo Di Canio, the Italian master himself, Paolo Di Canio won the hearts of many a football fan during his stay in England with Sheffield Wednesday, West Ham and Charlton. He personified the word 'dramatic' and whilst being a top class footballer, he was a typically Italian, crazy person, who got himself in trouble following a push on referee Paul Alcock, he was sent off , and an11 match ban followed. Paolo reminded me of footballs 'Del Boy', his heart was in the right place, but it didn't always happen for him. This was shown by an amazing piece of sportsmanship after goalkeeper Paul Gerrard lay injured on the floor, instead of scoring an easy goal, Di Canio stopped play and ended up costing the hammers a win! Despite the controversy, he was still loved by most and had an knack of scoring goals, including one of the Premier League's best for West Ham vs Wimbledon. Di Canio, a worthy runner up in my top 10 list!
The Goal: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUh-NcHi5ug
The Push: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TFVuHrwgyY&
The Legend: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgAbu4zOxg4&feature=relatedfeature=related

1. Jimmy Bullard, okay maybe I'm a little biast being a Wigan fan, but Jimmy has to be near the top of anyone's legends list, due to his jovial character and the love for him throughout the game. He came into the public's notice during Wigan's burst onto the Premier League scene, his antics maybe weren't as dramatic as Cantona or Di Canio and the likes, but he was far more light hearted and did everything with a smile on his face. Portrayed as a lovable cockney, Jimmy was, and still is, a huge hit on Soccer AM, and even has his own back door named after him on the show! He is known for his sense of humour and crafty prank pulling, aswell as being a handy footballer too. Words can't do justice to a worthy winner of the Legend's list! Vids, Jimmy's humorous ad that only he could pull off, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyZ7TfC5shU
A simple task made hard http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QC2Ady-WfMA&feature=related
Leapfrog http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMDin8UlYYU&feature=related
Abit of fun http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TZ_1jest_I&feature=related
Goal! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqLGnQJN1Sg
Another Goal! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FUD78jUV2o

Thanks for reading my blog post, please follow for more quality posts!

Cheers

twils