Never Confuse Music And Football

Recently, I noticed that I haven't updated this blog anywhere near as much as I should, especially considering my aspirations to be a journalist. So what could be a better way to return than with a post combining my two favourite things, music and football?

Those of you that have read my previous posts or know me personally will be aware that I like a moan about something now and then. Unfortunately for those of you who were expecting a calculated, methodologically and critically considered discussion of an intelligent topic, you might be a little wide of the mark. Don't let that put you off though.

As previously mentioned, I'm here to discuss music and football and particularly the former. One thing that really annoys me is when people mistake music for football. Hear me out.

You may be wondering what kind of dim-witted simpleton could possibly confuse the two, and come to think of it, so am I. What I'm referring to is when people treat music as if it's a competition, I can't say it's a major issue in my life but when it occurs, it's fairly annoying. I'm not one to care much about other people's opinions, but it's the principle of their beliefs that I'm bothered about.

Let me explain. The people I'm referring to are those that dislike the Rolling Stones because of the Beatles, or dislike Oasis because of Blur. I have no problem with people disliking these bands if they chose to (despite me liking all four) but their reasons seem invalid. The people I have an issue with are those that dislike a band because of the 'rivalry' that exists between the relevant band and a band they're fond of.

This kind of behaviour is perfectly applicable to football, it's expected that a Man United fan will dislike Man City; or a Liverpool fan will dislike Everton. This is because football is a competitive sport where teams are pitted against eachother. Music is not the same.

Music is there to be enjoyed, it's not to create rivalry or hatred.

I don't understand how one person can love Blur but hate Oasis (or vice-versa) simply because of this nonsense view that a likeness of both can't co-exist. This brings me back to the belief that you can't pick and choose what you like, especially music-wise. You hear what you hear and like or dislike it, you can't make a conscious decision to dislike something, it's something natural that you can't control. Blur and Oasis made similar music in the same genre, if you like one then it's practically impossible to hate the other.

Some may say that the personality of the band members is another factor. I simply reject this point. As a football fan, I dislike Luis Suarez. I think he's a cheating, diving little scumbag, but I can appreciate his world class talent. You can relate this to someone like Liam Gallagher, who isn't everybody's cup of tea to say the least. Some may debate his talents, but personally I think he's a great. Considering many feel he's among the greatest front men of all time I'm not alone either.

You can't deny that he played a major role in making Oasis who they were. Okay, he may not have had the creative influence Noel had but that wasn't his role. That's like saying Bobby Moore wasn't a significant part of the England 1966 World Cup winning team because he wasn't a creative player like Bobby Charlton. The fact that the High Flying Birds aren't as successful as Oasis lends itself to the opinion that Liam made a huge difference. How Beady Eye compare to NGHFB though is a totally different argument.

My point is, personalities shouldn't matter much in music. I like Oasis and if I did had heard them before I knew who Liam was and what he was like, I wouldn't suddenly decide to hate it just because I heard some explicit anecdotes. I think Oasis needed Liam's controversy and sharp tongue to compliment Noel's comparatively more calculated approach.

Back to my original point, I remember when I played an Arctic Monkeys track in the company of a mate (who's a Manc) and he responded with "What's this shite from Sheffield doing on?" Clearly, they weren't over the war of the roses and still held a grudge over Yorkshire. This predetermined that he couldn't like Arctic Monkeys before he'd even heard their stuff, simply because of where they were from. I'm fully aware his comments had a light-hearted tone underlining them, but the principle still puzzled me.

Maybe my point about competition not being the point of music is why X-Factor is becoming an increasing failure. Acts aren't developed to be entertaining, but the pressure of competition limits them to what their audience want to hear. This ignores to primary objective of music: to express yourself, but instead focuses on a desire to win. Acts are now brought up in the fashion 'to not play well but scrape a 1-0 away win at Stoke/Sunderland/Fulham' rather than forget what the average hormonal X-Factor voter thinks and do what they please.

In conclusion, music is an art, not a sport. And it should be treated accordingly.

Rant over.

Why Glastonbury Should Be A Total Waste of Time

Glastonbury Festival marks the start of festival season, so grab your tents and wellies and get ready for a spot of camping.

Music festivals are undoubtedly great fun and provide on-a-budget teens with an alternative to jetting off to Ibiza and driving themselves into more debt. What's not to love?

Yet try explaining to an alien who's never heard of Glastonbury before the attractions of a music festival, and you'd sound like an idiot.

First of all: camping.

Camping, whichever way you look at it, isn't fun. If it was, we'd all live in tents and Millets would be the richest company on earth. It isn't, so it's not.

On holiday, you can enjoy the luxuries of a hotel, apartment or villa and spend time sunbathing by the pool, it's easy to teach an alien the attractions of this; yet crapping in a bucket and walking knee deep in mud with a tent to sleep in that's as comfortable as being stabbed; that sounds less luxurious to me.

And it doesn't end there, at each music festival, people come away with not only muddy wellies and a wet tent, but with the shame that in a drunken jamming session with an acoustic guitar (or even worse, a ukulele) you have singlehandedly ruined a classic. Wonderwall by Oasis is a regular victim.

People also say, 'It'll be great to meet new people.' Yet the people you meet are usually drug addicts that pray to a God called Kurt Cobain and the prophet Pete Doherty. Most of them are idiots frankly, that waste their money on crack and throw their piss filled bags into the crowd, where they invariably land on your head.

If, by any chance you meet people that you don't class as idiots, then leave immediately. You are the idiot.

The worst by far though, is the hippies.

The usually tranquil settings of the Cotwolds and Somerset are invaded by the thieving little gypos every year, and residents spend the rest of the year clearing up after the mess the greasy inbreds make; call me stereotypical but have you ever met a classy gypo? No, you haven't, because they don't exist.

"I don't want to play Glastonbury on the Sunday night in the pouring rain, which is what The Who did last year. I was watching it on the telly, and my kids were there. I'm on the phone saying 'it's awful'. The said it was really fun, but it didn't look fun to me." Mick Jagger

I reiterate my previous point of how unappealing music festivals should be, yet they're not all bad obviously hence why people spend so much money going back year after year.

The thrill of seeing your favourite band and yelling at the top of your voice is obviously an attractive one, even if you look like an idiot. This doesn't matter though because, as previously stated, you're surrounded by idiots, so nobody really cares.

Seeing the likes of Oasis, Led Zeppelin or Blur must leave the crowd speechless and in awe, like a religious experience, only real obviously.

Despite the downsides, music festivals are here to stay it would seem.

So get yourself down to Millets, purchase a ukulele and join in with the spirit, even buy a Volkswagen camper and grow dreadlocks if you really want. Just don't become a gypo, there's enough already.

Looking forward to it?